seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
