If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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