So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
