I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
