sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You took a bar mat shot.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Dear god my vagina.
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