I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
