Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
