Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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