Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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