I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
