And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Randomize
