I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize