In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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