first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize