What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
