hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
