need another drink. this is the easiest way
Pappa wants mamma naked
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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