Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I intend to get homeless drunk
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
