please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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