I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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