i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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