he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
