so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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