oh god the rape fog is back!
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
