Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
