it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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