Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
