Its about making memories worth repressing
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
