Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
