im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
