I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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