You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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