I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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