Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
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