So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
