its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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