How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize