is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
