Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
