I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
