he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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