The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
