Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Randomize
