How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Where is the hickey?
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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