He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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