so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
