3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
