After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
