I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
