I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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