White coat. Heels.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
