Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
