I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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