Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
