I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
