You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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