Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
where does the pee come out of this thing
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
