# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
These tits shall not be calmed
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
